


Tuesday Night Safe Space

by rougefox



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Past Abuse, Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 12:40:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11104764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rougefox/pseuds/rougefox
Summary: Sansa speaks to a support group about her past abuse in hopes of inspiring others.





	Tuesday Night Safe Space

**Author's Note:**

> This is one big trigger warning.

 

 

The smell of cheap coffee left too long on the burner wafted into her nose. The sticky after taste of the donut she had regretfully eaten made her throat dry.

 

 

Sansa stepped up to the podium and regarded her tiny audience.

 

 

Dany waved to her from the third row of folding chairs. Satin was seated next to her and gave Sansa the thumbs up.

 

 

The room was small and plain; a meeting space in a local temple normally used for religious study. The carpet was bare in spots from repeated cleanings and children’s Sunday school drawings done in waxy crayon hung on the walls. The dim light from the parking lot lights made the windows glow a dingy yellow.

 

 

Sansa remembered the breathing exercises her therapist had taught her and took another deep breath. This wasn't the first time she had shared her story (and it probably wouldn't be the last) but it never got easier.

 

 

“Hello,” she began. “My name is Sansa and I am a survivor of sexual abuse.”

 

 

The audience mumbled a greeting, but did not look away.

 

 

“For those of you who are new here tonight, I will share my story in hopes that one day you can find the strength to share yours.”

 

 

Dany, survivor of her brother’s incest and Satin who had escaped from sexual slavery caught her attention and she focused on them. They had been coming to these meetings longer than she had and were her support when she spoke.

 

 

“My husb- my ex-husband came from a good family,” Sansa began. “They were wealthy and connected and my parents approved of our union.”

 

 

Sansa breathed again; “When we were dating, it seemed like I was the only person in the world. He would romance me with sweet words and tokens of his affection. He seemed perfect so we married, although we were probably too young…”

 

 

Dany waved her arms and made an angry face.

 

 

 _Stop making excuses!_ she mouthed.

 

 

Sansa shook herself and swallowed.

 

 

Satin smiled at her, and Sansa felt stronger.

 

 

“It didn’t happen all at once. His abuse was slow building so not even my parents noticed. “

 

 

She closed her eyes to keep the tears in check.

 

 

“In the beginning life was grand, we were both happy. Then he started complaining that I spent too much of his money, but would make it impossible for me to get a job. When I did work, he complained the house was too much of a mess and his dinner was late. No matter what I tried I could not make him happy. Not too much later he began insulting my appearance and intelligence. He claimed I embarrassed him in public if I told a story or joke."

 

 

“Not all abuse is physical,” she said shakily. “With my ex husband he would always do horrible things to me I couldn’t prove to anyone. He never spoke anything directly, but if I did not do what he wanted at night, he would make me pay for it in subtle ways the next day."

 

 

Sansa bit her lip to keep from losing her self control. In the back of the room she heard the reassuring click of a lighter and looked to see the flash of illumination on the ruined face of Sandor Clegane.

 

 

Preacher Euron shot him a look from his perch in the corner. Smoking was not allowed in the building but no one ever stopped him.

 

 

Sandor took a drag off his cigarette and nodded at her.

 

 

Sansa swallowed the tears and continued.

 

 

“I thought no one would believe me, and they didn’t at first. I was always taught a woman should submit to her husband in bed and so I let him do this to me for years and years. It got to the point where he wouldn't stop even if I started crying and would take advantage of me when I was sleeping. ”

 

 

Sansa heard a sniff from the back row and focused on Theon and his sister Asha. Theon had been tortured by his boyfriend for years, but had been too scared to get help as he thought his family would have disowned him and would think him less of a man. Asha proved him wrong and always came with him to meetings for support.

 

 

“I didn’t leave till he- my ex-husband , told me he wanted a divorce. It broke me because I thought I was doing everything he wanted and I was terrified because I had not had my own life in so long. He made me feel like I was a failure and worthless for letting him do what he did to me only to get cast aside like a broken doll.”

 

 

Sansa looked out to the faces familiar and not. They were there to find strength in each other. What had happened to them was not right, it was the most evil thing a person could do to someone they claim to love, and yet they blamed themselves.

 

 

 

“In the end, I found my footing. I had to leave so much behind, but now I don't regret it. I don’t know if I will ever be able to forget what has happened to me, but I can move on.”

 

 

Sansa bit back the tears again.

 

 

 

“I chose to be a survivor. I no longer allow myself to be a victim. And so can all of you, I am proof that all it takes is finding your inner strength and time. What has happened to us, is not our fault and you will survive if you let yourself feel your own worth. You matter as a person and deserve to be safe. Thank you.”

 

 

Dany and Satin started clapping and the others joined in less enthusiastically as Sansa stepped away.

 

 

With the end of her speech the meeting was concluded. Some people left right away, others milled around taking the last of the coffee and stale donuts.

 

 

Dany and Satin both worked their way to Sansa's side and threw their arms around her.

 

 

“You did great honey!” Satin whispered in her ear before leaving to catch his bus.

 

 

Dany hugged her again before wishing her well and promised to call later in the week.

 

 

Sansa looked over at Sandor’s hulking frame haunting the back wall.

 

 

He had been attending the meetings longer than even Satin, but never spoke. Sansa almost wondered if he was mute till last week when he asked her out for coffee in the parking lot.

 

 

Sitting in the greasy diner across the street she had told him about her trials since escaping her ex husband and he had listened. He never told her why he went to the meetings, he preferred to talk about his band that played local dives and his work as a mechanic at the local sport car dealership.

 

He had been charming in his own way, and she knew he would not pressure her into anything she did not feel comfortable with.

 

 

Sansa wasn't too eager to return to the dating scene but drinking shitty decaf coffee till long past her bedtime was a comfortable start.

 

 

Sansa made her way to the back of the room to see if Sandor wanted to go across the street when a brown haired woman she had never seen before stepped in her path.

 

 

“I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story,” she whispered. “This is my first time here and I didn’t think anyone…..”

 

 

Sansa immediately saw her own pain reflected in the woman's face and threw her arms around her.

 

Six months earlier Sansa's in-laws had blamed her for her marriage’s failure. Her parents couldn't believe her stories and her brothers frothed with murderous rage and demanded why she had not come forward sooner. Sansa lost several friends and was ostracized from several social circles; no one wanted to believe that the perfect boy from the good family with the good job would ever do anything to his freeloader of a wife. 

 

 

All of this social turmoil left Sansa feeling her marriage’s failure was her fault. If she had just been thinner, kept the house cleaner, got the perfect job….

 

 

Her ex-husband had called her for months afterward. He told her he still found her attractive, she was smarter and better in bed than his new girlfriend, could they meet up for dinner?

 

 

Sansa felt herself falling into his trap when her therapist recommending the support group. On her first night Dany told her story. After the meeting ended Sansa had approached the silver haired woman and tried to tell her that her strength gave her hope. Instead she had burst into tears and leaned into Dany's embrace till embarrassment made her step away.

 

 

Afterward, laying on her tiny bed in the spare room of her parents house, Sansa felt a small sliver of hope and strength. The next morning she went to the store and changed her phone number.  It was a small step but one in the right direction.

 

 

Months later Sansa had managed to find a job and a tiny apartment for her and her dogs. She would never live like she had with her exhusband with his family money but at least she was safe.

 

 

The brown hair woman in her arms tapped her on the back and Sansa let her go.

 

 

“Thank you,” muttered the woman as she made her way to the door.

 

 

Sansa watched her go and wondered if she would see her again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was a very personal story to write and I have my reasons;
> 
> I am currently in the throes of a divorce from a very abusive person. I am an American living in Europe and my visa, job, and housing are all tied to my spouse's sponsorship of me in the country.
> 
>  
> 
> So basically to leave this abusive relationship that has slowly eroded my self worth I have to give up my job, my home and leave the country.
> 
>  
> 
> I bring this up because I want to let anyone out there who is where I am, that your safety and well being matter. 
> 
>  
> 
> You are worth it, no matter what anyone else says.
> 
>  
> 
> Don't be afraid to get help. Even if you are only left with yourself, that is good enough to start over.


End file.
